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affirmations Anxiety Confidence growth growth mindset mental health Self Esteem self love

Three Quick Self Esteem Boosters You Can Do In Your Car

Do you have moments through out the day where your energy begins to drop or you begin to have thoughts about how well you are doing something or being to someone? Sometimes these moments happen right before an interview, a meeting, meeting a family member or friend for the first time or in a long time, going on a date, or even pulling up in front of your own home.

Self esteem according to Very Well Mind is “used to describe a person’s overall subjective sense of personal worth or value. In other words, self-esteem may be defined as how much you appreciate and like yourself regardless of the circumstances”. Your self-esteem affects many aspects of yourself to include:

  • Overall self-confidence
  • Feeling of acceptance by others
  • Feeling of security with self and others
  • Identity: how you view yourself
  • Feeling capable of completing tasks

The person I want to become is a better version of myself.

Many times we do not give ourselves enough credit or grace. You are here in this very moment because you were meant to be here. Let’s get into three quick ways to boost your self esteem.

1. Pep Talk: give yourself a pep talk. This can look like sitting with self for a moment, identifying the negative thoughts trying to creep into your mind. Turn those thoughts into positive ones. This requires you to believe in yourself and your abilities.

  • Examples:
    • I am not good enough vs I am more than enough
    • I am not qualified for this interview vs I was chosen for this interview because I am qualified and I am prepared
    • What if they don’t like me vs I am confident in my abilities and who I am, I like myself
    • I am a terrible parent vs I made a mistake and that does not define my parenting skills, my child loves me and I love my child

I will stay calm even in the midst of chaos.

2. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. Remember that saying them out loud and writing them down has a deeper impact that simply reading them silently

3. Play a favorite song that’s uplifting to you. Try to create a playlist of those songs on your phone so you can easily access them. Music can boost your mood quickly!

I hope you find these helpful! Share with me below in the comments of what your self esteem boosters are!

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affirmations Confidence growth mindset mental health self discovery Self Esteem self love

10 Affirmations To Improve Your Mindset

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s dig deeper into the final nugget.

The seventh nugget: Affirm Yourself

Affirmations. Affirmations. Affirmations. These are huge. Even if you don’t believe them to be true right now, you can practice saying things that you want to be true. Take a minute and think about the things and people in your life. What is going well? Encourage yourself to speak more positively about your life and the impact that things and people have in your life.

Not yet is better than never.

Our thoughts, in many ways, determine how successful we can be in any given moment. The powerful impact that affirmations have over our daily confidence and self worth when we are feeling down or negative is backed by research.

I believe in myself and my ability to succeed.

Many times we do not realize how much we affirm others over ourselves. It is sometimes easier to give someone else a compliment before we give one to ourselves. Instead of constantly criticizing yourself, try affirming yourself. Get started with one of these ten affirmations below:

  1. I will turn negative thoughts into positive ones and create a safe space for myself
  2. I am a positive and focused person filled with faith, confidence, and enthusiasm
  3. I trust that everything in my life will be fine and give myself permission to be emotional so that I can learn and grow
  4. My words matter and I can add value to any conversation
  5. I see so many positives in my life and I am transforming my life day by day
  6. I am trusting the journey and accept myself as I am
  7. I am more than enough, my life is valuable, I am worthy of love, peace, and happiness
  8. I trust myself to make the right decision, I believe in myself and in my abilities
  9. I will not let my anxious thoughts have power over me. I will use that energy to help me understand my thoughts and feelings
  10. I am relaxed, refreshed, and healthy

Write down one or two of your favorites on a sticky note, in your phone, in a notebook, or even on your bathroom mirror and speak life over yourself, every morning. There’s a powerful app called “ThinkUp” that you can download on your phone and you can record yourself speaking your affirmations and replay it at any time. Hearing our own voice has so much impact on our brain and so does repetition. It is encouraging to ourselves when we start our day affirming and reminding ourselves that the process of eliminating negativity starts within. This helps to set the tone for your day. Give yourself permission to fail, you are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Turn the failures you experience into lessons so that you can be and feel confident enough to move forward and try again. YOU got this!

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Confidence growth growth mindset self discovery self love

Self Discovery Nugget 5: Be Vulnerable

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The fifth nugget: Be Vulnerable

Be vulnerable and ask a trusted person for feedback. This one requires A LOT OF VULNERABILITY and it requires you TO LISTEN. You have to be willing to divide what you hear. That means take what you think can be helpful and let the rest be discarded. This is not an easy process and will take you time to learn how to accept all feedback given to you.

You can either become a victim or a student of the feedback you receive.

Seek out a trusted person who you feel knows you pretty well and ask them what they think about you. Ask them to give you the good, bad, and ugly because you want to know. Ask them what they think you can improve upon and work on to be a better version of yourself. You don’t just have to ask a trusted person, you can even ask an ex, a previous co worker, or someone you may have fallen out with years ago.

Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’M POSSIBLE!

Audrey Hepburn

Following receiving this feedback, you will need to sit with yourself and have deep self reflective conversations. You may hear things that you have neglected to be honest with yourself about in the past. The key is for you to stay in control of your feelings and how you respond. You can either become a victim or a student of the feedback you receive. This conversation is definitely helpful when relationships are ending, whether that’s friendships or love relationships. Having a growth mindset as this article beautifully describes, will help you go into and leave these conversations with grace, and a willingness to change what you think is necessary.

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Confidence growth growth mindset Life self discovery self love

Self Discovery Nugget 4: Spring Cleaning

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The fourth nugget: Spring Cleaning

I deserve a peaceful life.

Complete a spring cleaning of your relationships. Some relationships are not meant to last forever. Some people are meant to be in our lives for a short period of time while others are meant to stick around for years. Who are you spending most of your time with? Are they adding value to your life or are they keeping you stagnant? What renovations need to be made in your life? It is important to understand that this process can cause some ill feelings. The key is staying focused on what you are trying to accomplish and become.

What is difficult about this process and should be expected is going through the grief of the loss. Being comfortable with the loss of a relationship will bring you comfort. You will lose maybe not just one person but several people. Lean into the grief process. Learn more about yourself and what you want around you. Friends and family that I thought would be around forever are not. It was hard for me to grasp that. The love, the attention, and the TIME I invested in certain people for the relationships to just end was gut wrenching! And I had to realize that they were no longer adding value to my life. They were bringing me down. They were judging me. They were jealous of me. I will never understand why for some but I am happier without them around. I had to learn to be okay with that.

I am constantly growing into a better version of myself.

Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. Renovation of your life may include tapping into mentors, coaches, and counselors to help you. Leveling up your life requires downgrades elsewhere .

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Confidence growth mindset Life self discovery

Self Discovery Nugget 3: Identify Your Strengths

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The third nugget: Identify Your Strengths

The key word in this nugget is YOUR. We live in a world today where more likely than not we are comparing ourselves to what and who we see on social media. Your personal strengths help move you forward in a way that works for you. What works or worked for someone else might not work for you. So if you are trying to do something the same way someone else did and your strengths are not aligned with the task at hand, you will end up right back where you started…scratching your head, and wondering why this thing that worked for someone else is not working for you. Check out this awesome Ted Talk hosted by Eva Herber. She dives into why it is important to focus on your strengths. Your strengths come natural to you and compliment what it is you are trying to accomplish. It is important to understand the difference between strengths and weaknesses, or what I like to call my “needs improvement characteristics”. This article goes into more detail about the importance of why you should be aware of both.

Today I will do something my future self will be proud of.

What motivates you? What are you good at? What energizes you? What gives you purpose? How can you use your strengths to help you rediscover who you are? A great tool to use for this is called “High 5 Test“. You will need about twenty minutes to sit quietly with this test. The key with deciding on whether or not you should take this test is if you are unsure of what your strengths are and/or you want clarity for yourself. What I liked about doing this myself was that I had a good idea of what my strengths were. I just did not have the label and description with it. This test will allow you to connect the dots of different parts of your personality and learn how they can all work together personally and professionally. Focus on building up the best parts of you while you continue to work on the areas that need improvement.

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Coaching Confidence growth Life self discovery

Self Discovery Nugget 2: Sit

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

Nugget 2: Sit alone. Alone? Yes.

Reflect. Acknowledge. Speak.

Self discovery doesn’t happen with your friends, your co workers, your mom or your spouse/significant other. Set time aside to sit with yourself daily for 30 minutes. You are probably asking yourself why or what you’re supposed to do with that time. In that time look at where you’re at in life. Reflect. Acknowledge. Speak. Reflect on how you got to where you are now. Acknowledge your successful events and not so successful events. Speak life over yourself.

No matter how many people you have around you, at the end of the day you have to be the one to pick your own self up. No one can be a bigger cheerleader for you than YOU. Why are you here? Seriously. What is your purpose? Who are you? Being a mom, dad, spouse, friend are great and I also want you to really think about these questions. Are you living out your purpose? Are you committed to being a better version of yourself? There is always room for growth.

Failure is an event. It does not define who you are.

Remember, failure does suck but it does not define who you are. Failure is an event. It is not who you are. Failure is something that happens to you and for you. You have worth and you are here reading this. Therefore, you matter. Tell yourself, “this thing failed and I am not a failure”. Sit with it. Own it. And then plan for what your next steps will be.

To see the full blog I wrote on self discovery, click here.

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Coaching Confidence growth mindset Life self discovery

7 Steps to Discover Your True Self

Every year I see and hear people saying that they are tying to find themselves or figure out who they are and what their purpose is. Most of the time these same people are not completely happy with who they are in that moment or time in their lives. That was me. I was stuck for 5 years trying to understand how and why I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore for quite some time.

It’s time to be selfish because you have been selfless for so long.

My question to you is, when are you going to put yourself first? When are you truly going to reevaluate your life and start to make some small changes? It’s time to be selfish because you’ve been self less for so long. Here are 7 Steps to help you get started and moving in the right direction:

1. Write down what you like.

Self discovery has a lot to do with what we feel we may have lost within ourselves. What we like tends to bring us some sort of joy for a moment. What do you like to do? What did you like to do, that you used to do, that you don’t do anymore? That was a mouthful, read that again. What did you like to do, that you used to do, that you don’t do anymore? Write down at least five things that you would like or do like that brings you joy.

2. Sit alone. Alone? Yes.

Self discovery doesn’t happen with your friends, your co workers, your mom/dad or your spouse/significant other. Set time aside to sit with yourself daily for 30 minutes. In that time look at where you’re at in life. Reflect on how you got to where you are now. Acknowledge your successful events and not so successful events. Write them down. Speak life over yourself. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and tell yourself where you want to be. Write down where you want to be.

I am not selfish if I focus on myself for a little bit

Jazzy Speaks

3. Identify your strengths.

What motivates you? What are you good at? What energizes you? What gives you purpose? How can you use your strengths to help you rediscover who you are? A great tool to use for this is called “High 5 Test”: https://high5test.com/.

4. Complete a spring cleaning of your relationships.

Are they adding value to your life…

Some relationships are not meant to last forever. Some people are meant to be in our lives for a short period of time while others are meant to stick around for years. Who are you spending most of your time with? Are they adding value to your life or are they keeping you stagnant? Many times we may find ourselves pouring ourselves into someone so much that we feel drained. As if they were sucking the life out of us. Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. Tap into mentors, coaches, and counselors to help you.

5. Be vulnerable and ask a trusted person for feedback.

This one requires A LOT of vulnerability and it requires you TO LISTEN. Some times it can be helpful to hear what others think of us, if it is a) coming from a good place and b) it is received well. Seek out a trusted person who you feel knows you pretty well and ask them to provide you with some feedback on how and what they think and see within you. Ask them to give you the good, the bad, and the ugly, because you want to know. Ask them what they think you are good at (your strengths) and what you can improve upon and work on to be a better version of yourself.

6. Apologize and forgive yourself.

Sometimes what is holding us back at being the best version of ourselves is the person we see when we look in the mirror. If you’re waiting for the person who hurt you to fix what they did to you, you are on their time. Make the decision today to heal yourself. You have control over how you react and respond to the pain. You are not what you went through or what you are going through.

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and had a conversation with yourself? “[insert your name] and say: I’m sorry for allowing these things to happen to you. I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You deserve better. You deserve happiness. You deserve to find out what your purpose is and to live. I will create happiness for you starting now. I hurt you and I let you down and I forgive you. Moving forward I will try my best everyday to give you what you deserve. There will be ups and downs but I got this”.

Allow yourself to feel.

Whew! Did you do it? Hard huh? Maybe today is not the day that you do it but write it down and give yourself that moment. This helps you take ownership of your life and decisions. It is so freeing. You won’t know until you try. You might cry and that’s okay. Allow yourself to feel.

7. Affirmations. Affirmations. Affirmations!

I am remembering the freedom to be here, and live an enjoyable life. It’s not for me to always be about self improvement. I trust, I relax, and enjoy myself. It is more than okay to take a break from healing.

Toni Jones

These are huge! Even if you don’t believe the affirmations, say them to yourself until you do believe. A great resource if you don’t know where to start when creating affirmations is here and also a bomb artist I recently discovered, created a new genre of music called Affirmations and Chill. Here’s the link to my favorite song and album. Write down some of your favorites and speak life over yourself every morning. You should start your day with affirmations. This helps to set the tone for your day every day.

For more great tips and challenges, check out this great book by Gary John Bishop Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life.

Every thing you need to discover or rediscover yourself is inside of you.

They key is starting small. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to make a huge list of changes today. Have patience with yourself and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Every thing you need to discover or rediscover yourself is inside of you.