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growth mindset mental health self love

25 Self Care Ideas to Kickstart Your New Self Care Routine

What do you do for self care?

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Self care is about self, you know the person you look in the mirror at daily? Yes, YOU! We tend to put ourselves at the bottom of our to do lists (or we are not even on the to do list at all) and neglect the need for filling up our cups. Self care is important because we cannot be our best selves for the family, friends, and co-workers around us if we are not taking time daily to care for ourselves. I know for me, in the past if I don’t make time for myself (at least ten minutes on a busy day) I will be no good to my family and will think about calling off work and curling up in my bed.

I approve of myself and love myself deeply and completely. I will make time for myself daily.

Jazzy Speaks

When you think about what would be on your list, think about those things that lift you up when you’re having a bad day, things that bring you joy, things that fill your emotional cup up in a way that no one else can.

Below you will find a list of 25 self care ideas that personally, I do myself. What works for me might not work for you. Check out this blog for additional tips. This list is just to help get you started or restarted on your self care routine. Remember, your goal is to find what works for you and stick to a routine. Consistency is key!

My favorite thing to do for self care is walking in nature with my son.
  1. Cook breakfast for myself.
  2. Do yoga. Switch it up and do yoga outside.
  3. Listen to a favorite podcast or Ted Talk.
  4. Wake up an hour before the entire household.
  5. Turn on calming music and meditate (520 hz)
  6. Meditate quietly
  7. Take a long shower.
  8. Do makeup.
  9. Read a book.
  10. Listen to a book on audible.
  11. Scroll through funny videos on TikTok
  12. Call a friend/family member who is not a Debbie downer but someone to lift spirits
  13. Sit outside and listen to nature.
  14. Go to the gym.
  15. Complete a cycle class at the gym.
  16. Go for a drive without a destination in mind.
  17. Dress up and get cute without having a reason.
  18. Bake a desert on my list and eat it!
  19. Edit social media following. If they don’t bring me joy, DELETE.
  20. Go for a walk.
  21. Get a massage.
  22. When grocery shopping, throw something in (a chocolate treat) for myself.
  23. Cook a fancy steak dinner because I deserve a fancy meal.
  24. Take a bath.
  25. Watch a tv show that I am behind on.

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If you like what you are reading, please share, like and comment. Looking for other great topics? See recent blogs below.

Categories
affirmations Anxiety Confidence growth growth mindset mental health Self Esteem self love

Three Quick Self Esteem Boosters You Can Do In Your Car

Do you have moments through out the day where your energy begins to drop or you begin to have thoughts about how well you are doing something or being to someone? Sometimes these moments happen right before an interview, a meeting, meeting a family member or friend for the first time or in a long time, going on a date, or even pulling up in front of your own home.

Self esteem according to Very Well Mind is “used to describe a person’s overall subjective sense of personal worth or value. In other words, self-esteem may be defined as how much you appreciate and like yourself regardless of the circumstances”. Your self-esteem affects many aspects of yourself to include:

  • Overall self-confidence
  • Feeling of acceptance by others
  • Feeling of security with self and others
  • Identity: how you view yourself
  • Feeling capable of completing tasks

The person I want to become is a better version of myself.

Many times we do not give ourselves enough credit or grace. You are here in this very moment because you were meant to be here. Let’s get into three quick ways to boost your self esteem.

1. Pep Talk: give yourself a pep talk. This can look like sitting with self for a moment, identifying the negative thoughts trying to creep into your mind. Turn those thoughts into positive ones. This requires you to believe in yourself and your abilities.

  • Examples:
    • I am not good enough vs I am more than enough
    • I am not qualified for this interview vs I was chosen for this interview because I am qualified and I am prepared
    • What if they don’t like me vs I am confident in my abilities and who I am, I like myself
    • I am a terrible parent vs I made a mistake and that does not define my parenting skills, my child loves me and I love my child

I will stay calm even in the midst of chaos.

2. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. Remember that saying them out loud and writing them down has a deeper impact that simply reading them silently

3. Play a favorite song that’s uplifting to you. Try to create a playlist of those songs on your phone so you can easily access them. Music can boost your mood quickly!

I hope you find these helpful! Share with me below in the comments of what your self esteem boosters are!

Categories
growth growth mindset Life mental health self love

Rest Your Eyes

One of my biggest supporters, is my mom. My mom has seen me since I was in her womb. The first thing she looked at when she saw me was my eyes. Many times our eyes say more than the words out of our mouths. This was sent to me by her as a reminder to rest, and I share with you also. Take a moment, close your eyes, rest, reflect, and enjoy a moment of peace.

I shut my eyes in order to see.

Paul Gauguin

Brown Eyes

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. – Sophia Loren

Your eyes, the windows to your soul, those beautiful brown dollops of color placed so strategically on your face.
Your eyes, that have seen so much, shed so many tears, smiled and laughed so much.
Your eyes work hard everyday to see, to observe, to watch, to read, to behold the beauty of each new sunrise and sunset.
As you live and love, your precious eyes and the soul and body they are attached to, remember to rest with sweet peace.

Categories
affirmations Confidence growth mindset mental health self discovery Self Esteem self love

10 Affirmations To Improve Your Mindset

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s dig deeper into the final nugget.

The seventh nugget: Affirm Yourself

Affirmations. Affirmations. Affirmations. These are huge. Even if you don’t believe them to be true right now, you can practice saying things that you want to be true. Take a minute and think about the things and people in your life. What is going well? Encourage yourself to speak more positively about your life and the impact that things and people have in your life.

Not yet is better than never.

Our thoughts, in many ways, determine how successful we can be in any given moment. The powerful impact that affirmations have over our daily confidence and self worth when we are feeling down or negative is backed by research.

I believe in myself and my ability to succeed.

Many times we do not realize how much we affirm others over ourselves. It is sometimes easier to give someone else a compliment before we give one to ourselves. Instead of constantly criticizing yourself, try affirming yourself. Get started with one of these ten affirmations below:

  1. I will turn negative thoughts into positive ones and create a safe space for myself
  2. I am a positive and focused person filled with faith, confidence, and enthusiasm
  3. I trust that everything in my life will be fine and give myself permission to be emotional so that I can learn and grow
  4. My words matter and I can add value to any conversation
  5. I see so many positives in my life and I am transforming my life day by day
  6. I am trusting the journey and accept myself as I am
  7. I am more than enough, my life is valuable, I am worthy of love, peace, and happiness
  8. I trust myself to make the right decision, I believe in myself and in my abilities
  9. I will not let my anxious thoughts have power over me. I will use that energy to help me understand my thoughts and feelings
  10. I am relaxed, refreshed, and healthy

Write down one or two of your favorites on a sticky note, in your phone, in a notebook, or even on your bathroom mirror and speak life over yourself, every morning. There’s a powerful app called “ThinkUp” that you can download on your phone and you can record yourself speaking your affirmations and replay it at any time. Hearing our own voice has so much impact on our brain and so does repetition. It is encouraging to ourselves when we start our day affirming and reminding ourselves that the process of eliminating negativity starts within. This helps to set the tone for your day. Give yourself permission to fail, you are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Turn the failures you experience into lessons so that you can be and feel confident enough to move forward and try again. YOU got this!

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growth growth mindset Life mental health self discovery self love

Self Discovery Nugget 6: Forgive – 3 Steps

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The sixth nugget: Forgive Yourself in 3 Steps

Sometimes what is holding us back at being the best version of ourselves is the person we see when we look in the mirror. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and had a conversation with yourself?

First, you must accept responsibility for what has happened to you and for the things you have done. Being open and honest with yourself for what you have faced or are facing can be very challenging. You want to avoid feeling guilty, and regret. However, expect those negative feelings to creep in and use this as an opportunity to identify what positive behavior changes you can make.

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. — Maya Angelou

Second, when it comes to forgiveness, most of the time you are trying to make amends with someone so you can move forward. The same applies to self forgiveness. Making amends with yourself will help you learn to trust yourself again if you stopped. A great exercise I find helpful is to go in your bathroom, close the door, look in the mirror, and do something like this:

“[insert your name] and say: I’m sorry for allowing these things to happen to you. I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You deserve better. You deserve happiness. You deserve to find out what your purpose is on earth and live a happy life. I will create happiness for you starting now. I forgive you.. Moving forward, I will try my best everyday to give you what you deserve. I forgive myself. I am proud of myself for trying. I am who I need to be in this moment”.

I am who I need to be in this moment.

Third, allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come out of this moment. Sit with yourself, observe and acknowledge what comes up. Give yourself permission to cry, to yell, or sigh. Come out of that moment on top and with your head held high and a plan to move forward. You can also use the four R’s of forgiveness outlined in this article. They remind us of the importance of self forgiveness — Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal.

You can stay stuck, but where will that get you? Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has ups and downs. Everyone goes through heart break. Everyone has moments when they doubt their abilities. Learn from those good and bad experiences, acknowledge the events that took place, forgive YOU, and move on.

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Confidence growth growth mindset self discovery self love

Self Discovery Nugget 5: Be Vulnerable

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The fifth nugget: Be Vulnerable

Be vulnerable and ask a trusted person for feedback. This one requires A LOT OF VULNERABILITY and it requires you TO LISTEN. You have to be willing to divide what you hear. That means take what you think can be helpful and let the rest be discarded. This is not an easy process and will take you time to learn how to accept all feedback given to you.

You can either become a victim or a student of the feedback you receive.

Seek out a trusted person who you feel knows you pretty well and ask them what they think about you. Ask them to give you the good, bad, and ugly because you want to know. Ask them what they think you can improve upon and work on to be a better version of yourself. You don’t just have to ask a trusted person, you can even ask an ex, a previous co worker, or someone you may have fallen out with years ago.

Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’M POSSIBLE!

Audrey Hepburn

Following receiving this feedback, you will need to sit with yourself and have deep self reflective conversations. You may hear things that you have neglected to be honest with yourself about in the past. The key is for you to stay in control of your feelings and how you respond. You can either become a victim or a student of the feedback you receive. This conversation is definitely helpful when relationships are ending, whether that’s friendships or love relationships. Having a growth mindset as this article beautifully describes, will help you go into and leave these conversations with grace, and a willingness to change what you think is necessary.

Categories
Confidence growth growth mindset Life self discovery self love

Self Discovery Nugget 4: Spring Cleaning

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The fourth nugget: Spring Cleaning

I deserve a peaceful life.

Complete a spring cleaning of your relationships. Some relationships are not meant to last forever. Some people are meant to be in our lives for a short period of time while others are meant to stick around for years. Who are you spending most of your time with? Are they adding value to your life or are they keeping you stagnant? What renovations need to be made in your life? It is important to understand that this process can cause some ill feelings. The key is staying focused on what you are trying to accomplish and become.

What is difficult about this process and should be expected is going through the grief of the loss. Being comfortable with the loss of a relationship will bring you comfort. You will lose maybe not just one person but several people. Lean into the grief process. Learn more about yourself and what you want around you. Friends and family that I thought would be around forever are not. It was hard for me to grasp that. The love, the attention, and the TIME I invested in certain people for the relationships to just end was gut wrenching! And I had to realize that they were no longer adding value to my life. They were bringing me down. They were judging me. They were jealous of me. I will never understand why for some but I am happier without them around. I had to learn to be okay with that.

I am constantly growing into a better version of myself.

Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. Renovation of your life may include tapping into mentors, coaches, and counselors to help you. Leveling up your life requires downgrades elsewhere .

Categories
Confidence growth mindset Life self discovery

Self Discovery Nugget 3: Identify Your Strengths

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The third nugget: Identify Your Strengths

The key word in this nugget is YOUR. We live in a world today where more likely than not we are comparing ourselves to what and who we see on social media. Your personal strengths help move you forward in a way that works for you. What works or worked for someone else might not work for you. So if you are trying to do something the same way someone else did and your strengths are not aligned with the task at hand, you will end up right back where you started…scratching your head, and wondering why this thing that worked for someone else is not working for you. Check out this awesome Ted Talk hosted by Eva Herber. She dives into why it is important to focus on your strengths. Your strengths come natural to you and compliment what it is you are trying to accomplish. It is important to understand the difference between strengths and weaknesses, or what I like to call my “needs improvement characteristics”. This article goes into more detail about the importance of why you should be aware of both.

Today I will do something my future self will be proud of.

What motivates you? What are you good at? What energizes you? What gives you purpose? How can you use your strengths to help you rediscover who you are? A great tool to use for this is called “High 5 Test“. You will need about twenty minutes to sit quietly with this test. The key with deciding on whether or not you should take this test is if you are unsure of what your strengths are and/or you want clarity for yourself. What I liked about doing this myself was that I had a good idea of what my strengths were. I just did not have the label and description with it. This test will allow you to connect the dots of different parts of your personality and learn how they can all work together personally and professionally. Focus on building up the best parts of you while you continue to work on the areas that need improvement.

Categories
growth growth mindset relationships self discovery self love

Self Discovery Nugget 1: What do I like?

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.  For the next several posts we will dig deeper into each nugget.

Nugget #1: Write down what you like.

Self discovery has a lot to do with what we feel we may have lost within ourselves. A lot of times we see this in relationships or marriages. Understand who you are. What do you like? What don’t you like? What we like tends to bring us some sort of joy for a moment. What do you like to do? What did you like to do that you used to do that you don’t do anymore? That was a mouthful, read that again. As you read this, I would like you to write down at least five things that you would like to do that brings you some joy. This could even include a goal or two you may have for yourself.

You can get back to you!

Many of us put the things we like and even our goals aside to adjust to the “new life” we find ourselves in. Sometimes we do this without realizing it until years go by and sometimes we do this because we THING we cannot commit or find time for ourselves. Now, there may be some things you may have to adjust to especially when you have kids or have to take care of a family member. AND I want you to remember you CAN get back to YOU.

  • What if I told you that you can still be in a relationship or have certain responsibilities and MAKE time for you to do whatever it is you want to do? (With reason and respect of course).
  • What if you set aside specific time for you and your list of likes or for you and your goals?
  • What if you set a timer so that you have control over the time spent and can be more intentional about what it is you are wanting to do?
  • What if you discovered your purpose in life and it happens to be something you like and enjoy doing?
  • What value are you fulfilling?
  • What if you had thirty minutes to do something you like today, what would you do?
What piece is missing from your life? What have you lost within yourself.

I lost myself in a relationship and was stripped from my social life. I was being consistently inconsistent with myself in what I needed because I was trying to please others in an unhealthy way. I had to relearn some things about myself including WHO I was. So I had to ask myself and was asked in counseling: Who is Jasmine? What does Jasmine like?

It took me a while to know and understand it was okay to like to do what it was I liked to do. Who are you really? Be okay with who you are and what you like. Give yourself permission to change over time. Give yourself permission and time to identify what these things are even if you have forgotten or have been forgotten. Identify what you values are and how what you like align with those values. Understanding WHY these things are important to you will allow you to give yourself permission to set aside time for them.

  • I like being social and meeting new people.
  • I like doing community service work for a cause.
  • I like to explore new restaurants and go to happy hours.
  • I like to eat ice cream and sit outside and let the sun melt it as I try to hurry and eat it.
  • I like to blast music (all genres) throughout my house.
  • I like to talk and share laughs on the phone with my friends who no longer reside close to me.
  • I like to listen to my favorite podcasts.
  • I like to learn by reading or attending trainings from all over the world.
  • I like to workout outside when the weather is over 65 degrees.
  • I like to watch horror movies on Saturday afternoons.

Everything you need for your success, you have inside of you.

Everything you need for your success, you have it inside you. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams or goals. Those are YOURS. Go after it! So I ask you again, what do you like? What are you going to do in order to allow yourself to tap into those things today?

To see the full blog I wrote on self discovery, click here.

Categories
Coaching Confidence growth mindset Life self discovery

7 Steps to Discover Your True Self

Every year I see and hear people saying that they are tying to find themselves or figure out who they are and what their purpose is. Most of the time these same people are not completely happy with who they are in that moment or time in their lives. That was me. I was stuck for 5 years trying to understand how and why I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore for quite some time.

It’s time to be selfish because you have been selfless for so long.

My question to you is, when are you going to put yourself first? When are you truly going to reevaluate your life and start to make some small changes? It’s time to be selfish because you’ve been self less for so long. Here are 7 Steps to help you get started and moving in the right direction:

1. Write down what you like.

Self discovery has a lot to do with what we feel we may have lost within ourselves. What we like tends to bring us some sort of joy for a moment. What do you like to do? What did you like to do, that you used to do, that you don’t do anymore? That was a mouthful, read that again. What did you like to do, that you used to do, that you don’t do anymore? Write down at least five things that you would like or do like that brings you joy.

2. Sit alone. Alone? Yes.

Self discovery doesn’t happen with your friends, your co workers, your mom/dad or your spouse/significant other. Set time aside to sit with yourself daily for 30 minutes. In that time look at where you’re at in life. Reflect on how you got to where you are now. Acknowledge your successful events and not so successful events. Write them down. Speak life over yourself. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and tell yourself where you want to be. Write down where you want to be.

I am not selfish if I focus on myself for a little bit

Jazzy Speaks

3. Identify your strengths.

What motivates you? What are you good at? What energizes you? What gives you purpose? How can you use your strengths to help you rediscover who you are? A great tool to use for this is called “High 5 Test”: https://high5test.com/.

4. Complete a spring cleaning of your relationships.

Are they adding value to your life…

Some relationships are not meant to last forever. Some people are meant to be in our lives for a short period of time while others are meant to stick around for years. Who are you spending most of your time with? Are they adding value to your life or are they keeping you stagnant? Many times we may find ourselves pouring ourselves into someone so much that we feel drained. As if they were sucking the life out of us. Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. Tap into mentors, coaches, and counselors to help you.

5. Be vulnerable and ask a trusted person for feedback.

This one requires A LOT of vulnerability and it requires you TO LISTEN. Some times it can be helpful to hear what others think of us, if it is a) coming from a good place and b) it is received well. Seek out a trusted person who you feel knows you pretty well and ask them to provide you with some feedback on how and what they think and see within you. Ask them to give you the good, the bad, and the ugly, because you want to know. Ask them what they think you are good at (your strengths) and what you can improve upon and work on to be a better version of yourself.

6. Apologize and forgive yourself.

Sometimes what is holding us back at being the best version of ourselves is the person we see when we look in the mirror. If you’re waiting for the person who hurt you to fix what they did to you, you are on their time. Make the decision today to heal yourself. You have control over how you react and respond to the pain. You are not what you went through or what you are going through.

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and had a conversation with yourself? “[insert your name] and say: I’m sorry for allowing these things to happen to you. I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You deserve better. You deserve happiness. You deserve to find out what your purpose is and to live. I will create happiness for you starting now. I hurt you and I let you down and I forgive you. Moving forward I will try my best everyday to give you what you deserve. There will be ups and downs but I got this”.

Allow yourself to feel.

Whew! Did you do it? Hard huh? Maybe today is not the day that you do it but write it down and give yourself that moment. This helps you take ownership of your life and decisions. It is so freeing. You won’t know until you try. You might cry and that’s okay. Allow yourself to feel.

7. Affirmations. Affirmations. Affirmations!

I am remembering the freedom to be here, and live an enjoyable life. It’s not for me to always be about self improvement. I trust, I relax, and enjoy myself. It is more than okay to take a break from healing.

Toni Jones

These are huge! Even if you don’t believe the affirmations, say them to yourself until you do believe. A great resource if you don’t know where to start when creating affirmations is here and also a bomb artist I recently discovered, created a new genre of music called Affirmations and Chill. Here’s the link to my favorite song and album. Write down some of your favorites and speak life over yourself every morning. You should start your day with affirmations. This helps to set the tone for your day every day.

For more great tips and challenges, check out this great book by Gary John Bishop Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life.

Every thing you need to discover or rediscover yourself is inside of you.

They key is starting small. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to make a huge list of changes today. Have patience with yourself and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Every thing you need to discover or rediscover yourself is inside of you.